Monthly News Letter (June Conclusion)
#1



Exhibit Minecraft
Monthly News Letter



Issued: 01-07-2017
June Conclusion

Written by Mondeo
As forced to suggested by Origin
Edited by Shane




Contents
- Introduction
- Crew Nights: events, winners, new arrivals and honourable mentions
- Monthly Votes
- Insider Discount
- Discussions
- Mondeo's Poppin' Puns
- Mondeo's Monthly Pointer



Introduction

You know those days where you wake up and you're like "F*ck me why did I wake up, if I stayed asleep a wee bit longer than I wouldn't have to go to my aunt's house. I don't even like the woman." Yeah that happened to me. Apart from the aunt bit. It was more of  a "F*ck me why did I wake up, if I would have stayed asleep for the rest of my life then I wouldn't have to write this bullsh*t article every month." I'M NOT EVEN GETTING PAID FOR F*CKS SAKE. I feel like Amelia when I say that she's a-... nevermind.*

Crew Nights: events, winners, new arrivals and honourable mentions

Okay first thing's first I'm the realest, drop this and let the world feel it, and I'm still in the Murda Buziness, I can hold you down, llike I'm givin' lessons in physics.** I'm out of exams and Ramadan, Shane's out of exams, and zman's computer is broken but is soon to be repaired. You know what this means? CREW NIGHT GONNA BE MORE LIT THAN A SNOWMAN ON FIRE. Basically, the last few crew nights have been a nightmare because of some incompetent leaders. (Shane and Zman***).

Okay so I can promise you from this week onwards that Crew Night will have a lot more effort put into it so that more people will have fun. Additionally, we'll not just do PvP, it'll be a range of events, PvE, Building and such.

Crew Night of 03/06/2017
This Crew Night, we did something really creative, and by really creative, I mean not creative at all. So you know Bread Wars right? That event we made 3 months ago and have played every week (Apart from two)? We made a two team version of it! Is it good? No it was absolutely f*cking dreadful. I wasn't there during it (but I was after it and boy what happened after it was... I'll get onto it later). So what happened during Two Team Bread Wars? No f*cking clue. All I know is Green Team Won, and Green Team consisted of: MathiasFrandendenden, Burgerkingd and Llamacornderpy. Mathias must've carried that team like no tomorrow.
Anyway, what happened afterwards? Zman the genius made a command that rolled back 160 chunks. Now, lucky for Zman, he didn't execute the command. Unlucky for eM, Zman sent it to Shane. Shane executed it. So what happened? The server got really f*cking triggered and lagged like no tomorrow. A poor lad logged into the server for the first time and was faced with a sh*t storm of lag. Like this lag was BAAAAAAAAAD. In order to fix it (it took me 10 minutes to realise) I just had to stop the server. Nice one, Mondeo.

Crew Night of I'm assuming 10/06/2017
The reason this one is "assuming" is because I have no hard evidence to say that it is actually 10/06/2017. However, in this event we did another UHC. Right at the end was a battle between AngryLime and MathiasFrandensenensen. (I really should learn his name). After a minute or two of shield spamming and constantly having to change their pants ('cause they were sh*ting themselves so much), MathiasFrandensensensen emerged victorious!
BUT WAIT.
MATHIAS HAD ONE HEART LEFT.
THERE WAS ONE OTHER PLAYER LEFT FROM ANGRYLIME'S TEAM.
Silence befell over the arena, the unnamed was nowhere to be seen. Mathias was frightened. The spectators were weary. But then out of the shadows emerged our Hero Unnamed. He (or she, I don't discriminate) soared through the sky with his (or her) sword. He (or she) raised the weapon, ready for a swing. Mathias took another sh*t (out of fear, not just randomly.) It was all over. As the unnamed hero landed...
he (or she) died. He (or she) had one heart just before landing. The guy had one f*cking job and he f*cked it. Jesus Christ. I need a caprisun to calm myself down. Some of that raspberry one, I aint having no orange sh*t.

Crew Night of I'm assuming 17/06/2017
Now this Crew Night, we fixed up Two Team Bread Wars. Well by fixed up, I mean uh, added changes. These changes did not fix the event. It was still as horrible as ever. It was so bad that Burgerkingd and MathiasFrandenendnensen decided to rebel from their team and make their own. They made Swastikas like it was their last day on Earth. Which seems to be every day for BurgerkingD...
Joe and I definitely didn’t ditch Crew Night to go play Nazi Zombies with Shane and Woz…****



Monthly Votes

I know you guys seriously give a crap about this bit! The person with the most votes this month was:
MATHIASFRANDESSEDENDENDENDEN. CONGRATULATIONS MATHIAS!
You have won a: Free night with Mondeo!*****



Insider Discounts

To all the insiders, this month's discount for you people is:
5% Of every item in the store! Happy shopping!



Discussions

We actually had an idea this month. (I KNOW RIGHT HOW FRICKEN DIFFERENT IS THAT?)
The idea was to have a factions server bungee corded to our current server.
Origin and I will be discussing this further. For more information on this, review this topic:
CLICK ME! (Or don't, it's a free country...)



Mondeo's Popping Puns

This is a new segment in the News Article where I shall say a pun and you all shall laugh. Or think "Oh for f*cks sake Mondeo shut the hell up." If it's the latter, my simple response is "No."
Without further ado
*Ahem.*
People are making Apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
Heh. Heh. Heh.



Mondeo's Monthly Pointer
Ginger people DO have souls.



Disclaimers:
*: SEE I KEEP MY PROMISES. RIGHT?
**: I apologise for my outburst of such a terrible song. However, let's just take a minute to analyse the following lyrics: "I can hold you down, like I'm givin' lessons in physics." Who the hell holds somebody down in a physics lesson???????  Unless it's some serious disciplinary school. The lyrics should have been "I can hold you down, like I'm a seriously powerful hydraulic compressor which is capable of providing a sh*t ton of pressure." I mean have you seen those things? THEY'RE SO F*CKING COOL. F*ck you Iggy and you poor effort of integrating physics into a song.
***: And Mondeo.
****: I feel like I should be honest and tell you that Myself and Joe were actually shocking at it and Shane and Woz were actually decent. I know right lmao who would've thought they were good at games?
*****: I MEANT ON A GAME YOU DIRTY MINDED IMBECILES. JESUS CHRIST.
Community Manager and  should-be professional comedian.
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

© Exhibit Minecraft Staff Team

Powered by MyBB