Monthly News Letter (September Conclusion)

Exhibit Minecraft
Monthly News Letter

Issued: 01-10-2017
September Conclusion

Written by Mondeo
As forced to suggested by Origin

- Introduction
- Crew Nights
- Monthly Votes
- Announcements
- Player Articles
- Player Puns
- Mondeo's Poppin' Puns
- Mondeo's Monthly Pointer

Back to this sh*t again. Everyone's probably playing a game like Skyrim or playing Bed Wars, or strumming their Baritone Ukulele or at a party getting absolutely wasted beyond the point they can't even tell if they're black or not, but noooooo. Not Mondeo. Mondeo has to write a f*cking newsletter at the end of every month because Mr. Origin wants more people to use the forums. I'm legit sittin' here in a hoodie listening to Adele writing this newsletter. That's literally the only good thing; Adele. Atleast I got someone like you.[*1].
Anyway, i've got my redbull, I've got my Adele and I've got no pants on[*4], so let's get down to this sh*t all over again.

Crew Night
Well this Crew Night can only be summed up in one word. Actually, that's a lie. This crew night can only be summed up with one gif, and that gif is this:

So what happened? Well, there was a lot of drama. I'll give it all in a reduced format.
Myself and the Event Team delayed Crew Night for a week... twice. I finally thought "We are not delaying again. I'm gonna start this on the Monday before Crew Night". This was complete bullsh*t, but Mondeo did not know this. So come Wednesday, and I started working on Crew Night. We were going to do some party events that I definitive did not rip off of other servers. So I was doing this primarily on my own. When Shane got real f*cking bored he'd come and help place some blocks, nothing too intense. Anyway, so I made 3 events out of 8 by Friday, and thought I had to thunder the remaining 5 on Saturday. On Saturday Morning, whilst I was making a new event (which I ripped off Zach[*5]). Shane and Zach decided my event would be sh*t. And so came a petty lil' argument. Eventually I got slightly, ever so MILDY annoyed and said "f*ck this. You do this on your own then." And so I went off to play Gigantic. Anyway, so they made an event which was Sheep Football. The basic premise was that everyone had Elytra and knock back 10 sticks. There was a sheep that was defying gravity like I defy... uh... Hm.. This has actually stumped me. If anyone's got any suggestions, hit me up. Anyway. The idea was actually decent, but it played out horribly. No one really knew what they were doing. Apart from one guy, who scored like 5 goals and hardly anyone even realised.
So then Zach had the idea of going to Realms. Unexpectedly there were around 13-15 players in Crew Night. They all tried to cram into a Realms server like Taylor Swift is trying to cram herself into the Music Industry with some weird ass phase. [*6]. So that went horribly wrong too, and people kept get kicked around like, well not like that Sheep in the event because no one could find the tiny thing.
So what happened next I hear you asking? Well, come Cpl Wojtek[*7], arising from the rubble of the destroyed Crew Nightlike:
So essentially, we all went onto another server that shall not be named and had our fun on there.
*Queue Origin*
Origin turned up and was basically like:
Like seriously, he got pretty pissed off. I would show you the staff chat but that's against the rules and what not. In short:
- The Event Team was removed.
- Crew Nights will no longer be an official thing by eM.
- Joe couldn't find his tampon.

And that's the story of Crew Night.

Top Voters
This months Top Voter is Lazy Camel!
Clearly, he's not the Lazy Camel we'd have expected, hahahahahahahahahahasomeonedatemehahahahahhaahahahaha.
For having the most votes, and voting every day of the Month, Camel gets: A voucher of his choosing (A steam voucher)

-> Crew Night will no longer be endorsed by eM until further notice. Refer back to the Crew Night section to find out why.
-> The Event Team, as a result, no longer exist.
-> Introducing Player Articles. Read on to find out more.
-> Introducing Player Puns. Read on to find out more.

Player Articles
So, I know i'm the greatest writer of all time. Duh, obvious, next thing please.
Anyway, i'd like to introduce something called "Player Articles" I'll probably come up with a better name for it later, but I'm tired, it's 9:00 and I'm seriously considering buying a noose.[*8].
How does it work? Quite simple. You Private Message me (on the forums) an article you'd like to have included on the Monthly News Letter. I'll include it if it's any good and will tickle some ribs. If not. Uh. Well that's a bit awkward then. I'll probably introduce a facility to allow you to sent articles anonymously.[*9]

Player Puns
You know me, and you know I love a good pun. Heck, I've almost made as many puns and Squeshy dies in game.[*10]
This is pretty self explanatory. Send me puns, if they're better than mine (HAH, GOOD LUCK) then i'll put it on. I'll even give you credit[*1]!

Mondeo's Poppin' Puns
I aint gonna lie, my puns are lit. They even set fire to the rain.

Mondeo's Monthly Pointer

Maths is spelled with an s. Remove the s, and you're not doing Maths, you're committing a crime.

[*1]: I know you probably want me to get run over and take some serious injuries (but not actually die) for making that pun. But hey, i'm Rolling in the Deep with Puns. [*2]
[*2]: Heheheheheh. OH MY GOD THAT'S A DISCLAIMER INSIDE A DISCLAIMER. THAT'S LIKE A DISCLAIMER SQUARED! ... A disclaimer squared is actually just one disclaimer, because... (1 disclaimer) * (1 disclaimer) = 1 disclaimer. F*ck you, Maths. [*3]
[*3]: I'm joking, I love you maths. HEY THAT'S A DISCLAIMER INSIDE A DISCLAIMER INSIDE A DISCLAIMER, WHICH IS A DISCLAIMER CUBED! But (1 disclaimer) * (1 disclaimer) * (1 disclaimer) = 1 disclaimer. F-...
[*4]: Pants in the UK sense, not the American sense.
[*5]: And Zach ripped off every other server under the sun.
[*6]: Seriously what the f*ck is up with that?
[*7]: I don't give a damn if I spelled your name wrong. I'm still pissed you changed it from BikiniDuck.
[*8]: Not for me, for my brother. He's f*cking annoying.
[*9]: And by "me" I mean Origin.
[*10]: Seriously that guy dies a sh*t ton. I feel kinda bad, then I realise it's pretty funny.
[*11]: Probably..[*12]:
[*12]: Maybe..[*13]:
[*13]: Probably Not.[*14]
[*14]: I'm joking I'm joking! I will.
[*15]: Refer to [*11].

(Ignore the fact that its a bit broken)

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